1. Are you sleeping? Nah just playing dead !!!
2. Am i lost? no your brain is !!!
3. Where does this road go? No where u have to walk over it!!!
4. Is this a dream? Want a slap now???
5. Oh is it raining outside? no water leakage from clouds
6. To a taxi…are u free? no u have to pay for it
7. At a baby shower ..Oh my gosh how did this a happen?
8. Hey where the hell u come from?? Sky.. just landed and parked my cape!!!
9. Is that really a question? No I was figuring an way to find new grammar!!
10. What are u saying???…u don’t say?? Decide fast what do u want me to do!!!
11. Don’t tell me u did it….??? aright… m not telling u since u already know !!!
12. Shut up!!! what are u trying to say?………. trying? … i am already saying it dumbo and how can I shut up now that I have said it??
13. Ok did u tell her about the things we discussed. to be kept between us??
14. Did u know that we planned a surprise party for u? ok !! I wont tell any one about it shhh
15. Over a fractured arm,, does it hurt? No I am having the time of my life!!!
16. Oh man…Ar u getting married to him… seriously? No we just standing here for the photo opportunity…

               When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high And you want to smile, but    you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

 Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about When he might have won had he stuck it out;

                            Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–

                              You may succeed with another blow,

                            Success is failure turned inside out–

                         The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

                          And you never can tell how close you are,

                              It may be near when it seems so far;

                        So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–

                     It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The average single-scoop ice cream cone takes 50 licks to finish. Try it out with the following recipe.

The best temperature at which to serve ice cream is believed to be 8 degrees F.

I awoke and saw that life was service.

I acted and behold,

service was

joy.

I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
I’m in the management training program.

I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?

Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

The coffee machine is broken…

Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off.

Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!

I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.

The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?